%#(&%^^@ cat!

Stupid one-fanged feline knocked a big plant off the microwave cart. The plant, which was a gift on the birth of child number 1, was on top of the cart to keep it out of reach of cats, and it worked for 17 years. On the way down it scattered dirt in places far and wide, scattered dry leaves in even more places, and shattered the 20 year old shade as it bounced off the window. I guess vinyl gets brittle after lots of UV exposure. Whoda thunk it. So it's back up there now, missing about half its bulk, and as much dirt as I could find has been sucked up by the vacuum, but it keeps migrating out from unknown locales... Cat keeps eyeing other high places he hasn't been able to reach yet. I'm going to assume nothing is safe.

I should be able to show you a picture of this juvenile delinquent cat one of these days - daughter got 3 cameras for Christmas, so I insisted she give me her old digital one. I finally got it, but not the cord that links it to the computer yet. She and her friend found (Goodwill) and decorated and traded Polaroid cameras (film for these is expensive), I got her a digital camera with more and better features than the old one, and her dad got her a Holga camera (a what?). Apparently these were cheap plastic cameras that leaked light, but turned out to be great for artsy shots. They take some ridiculous size film (which is unavailable in all the usual locations that sell film) but you can also use 35mm. Apparently you have to unload the exposed film in a darkroom, which she has access to at the vo-tech. I'll let her take care of all the costs for these cameras.

I had someone in today to check out the damp, cold, dark crawlspace to give me an estimate for jacking up the beams and waterproofing. It came in less than I expected and should be very effective, although I'll have to get separate contractors to "sister" the beams with extra wood and to hard-wire the electricity for the sump pump (the current sump pump and its predecessors have been on extension cords for over 20 years). And to make that even better, nearly-ex came by to pick up Boy yesterday and dropped off an envelope he found containing about $7000 worth of savings bonds! Almost enough to cover the cost of the project.

So do I use savings or savings bonds to pay for things? I learned some stuff about savings bonds online: if you are under a certain income level and you cash in your bonds to pay for college, most or all of the interest won't be taxed. So it would make sense to save the bonds for college. But I don't think I'll make the income cutoff, which means I pay taxes on those, so tax-wise that might not be a benefit. And how do you redeem paper EE and I bonds? You can go to a bank, but the max is $1000 worth at a time - not going to cover college costs unless you keep going back day after day. Certain banks can do larger amounts. Where is the closest one? Pittsburgh! Hmmm. I can convert all the paper bonds to virual online bonds, and then I can cash in as many as I want at a time and they go right into the bank. But I still have to mail them in (flashing red lights and warning sirens go off in my head thinking about the chance of them being lost, and they say not to use certified mail). But that's still the easiest option for cashing them in. Thanks to payroll deductions buying bonds for about a dozen years, I'm in good shape there and had the sense to have them in just my name, and the interest is better than any of my bank accounts. Now I just need to find out if anybody is going to college or private school next year, or maybe I just get to hang onto them until retirement.

What to do with half a loaf of gluten-free bread going stale? Crumbs? Yeah, I could do that. Toast? Maybe. Sandwich? No way, it's crumble city by now. So I cut it into cubes and maybe I'll attempt CHOCOLATE BREAD PUDDING! Will it work with Lactaid milk? I took a picture of a typical slice - too bad I can't show it to you yet. Tres amusing.

Want a good laugh? I found a blog with a section that had me in tears I laughed so hard. Go to www.thesneeze.com and click on the "Steve, don't eat it!" link. But not while the kids are watching.